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 Feb/March 2003 ....Aks Joe 

1. Aks: do  u find Poop  amusing?

Joe:  poop. PooP.  pOOp. bood.  doob.  dood. bOOd. Hmmm... crap, doody, shit, turd, feces, dump, number 2, poo poo, ka-ka, stinky.  Sorry, I'm finding it hard to really amuse myself with that word.

2. Aks:  why don't you answer any of my questions?

3. Aks. do you like substitute teaching?

Joe:  Substitute teaching enables me to bring unto the youth of the nation a great deal of the knowledge, discipline, wisdom, hope and love that has been passed on to me through my parents, teachers and god.   The chance to serve in the NYC public educational system is something I've dreamed of since my earliest days and I can't even come close to describing the gratitude I have to be fortunate enough to be able to be a part of this wonderfully organized and flourishing system.

4. Aks: Why is there so much resistance to love in the world?

Joe: You tell me?  Email me, write in the aks box below.  Anyone and everyone.  I'll put your answers under mine or start a whole new page if I get enough responses.  Here's mine:

The world is pumped full of fear and the majority of people are in complete denial.  In my spiritual beliefs only 2 things exist, fear and love.  The forces that pump the fear are so huge right now that people are blinded to the possibilities of love.  In yesterday's forecast today's beautiful snowfall was "more bad weather coming our way."  A person who was shot at the train station near my house paints the whole picture for the safety of that station and my neighborhood - not the millions and millions who have been there safely before.  The terrorists across the oceans don't scare me much, but the headlines our own people feed on my opening AOL screen (which can't be escaped even though I have 7 opening screen choices) terrorizes me.  People are so full of fear they fear love, myself often included.

Karen: I agree with your comment on Resistance to Love.  I believe however, that we have feared peace & love for so long that most do not even know the meaning of the words.  It's like a fairytale of the world, your told about it as a child, but as you grow up the reality sets in. You know it was a lie... just like Santa & the Tooth Fairy.  Well, I still believe in the spirit of Santa, & still believe that if we all come together... What am I saying there's nothing TOGETHER about this world. 

I just wish the best for ALL the pure at heart.

Janine: My opinion on why there's so much resistance to love:

This can definitely be debated about until i'm 90, but i think that love has become so outmoded that it's taboo to even say the word. Positivity in any form is almost unheard of. Any news channel you watch tends to report on things that are so negative, you tend to wonder if the little, nicer things in life that make a difference even matter to people anymore. There will more likely be a headline on the news about animal cruelty than there will be about a group of teenagers who raise money for cancer research. Do we want to hear about animal cruelty? I know i don't, because it depresses me and makes me lose hope in people. But if i were to hear something like the latter, I'd actually believe that some dignity really does exist in humans. The problems is, i'm more likely to get depressed when i turn on my TV or read a newspaper than i am to be happy. It's easy to ignore the media, but you still experience the negativity when you even walk outside. I've had enough lovely experiences on the subway alone to be just as spiteful as the rest of society. When you're surrounded by hateful things, you can become a cold machine and simply lose the ability to love. I'm very willing to love, if only i can find a reason to.

i can definitely go on from here and get more specific but i already wrote too much.. hope this is what you were looking for.

5. Aks: Do you practie bass alot, or do you play bass alot?

Joe: Yes, no and maybe.  A few months ago I was playing 3 to 4 hours a day, every day.  I was learning Motown songs, 70s funk and Disco (great basslines in that stuff).  I was trying to play anything and everything that was alien to my style.  Then at times life takes over and my bass gets terribly lonely.  The past month or so I've hardly picked it up.  Tonight we're spending the night together - soon as I finish answering these questions.  Gotta mention that I'm a little sad cuz I just moved, and in my old place I was able to lean one of my basses up against the wall in the bathroom.  It was my constant companion when doing those things we all do but rarely talk about (much better'n a magazine).  My new bathroom has no place to lean the bass safely so I have to resort to magazines again.  Thank god for BassPlayer Mag.  If I don't read I stare at my wall in there which I really like.  Wanna see?  OK.  This is the window in my new bathroom:

6. Aks: If your hands got chopped off and you could not have them replaced with fake hands, what would you put at the ends?

Joe:  That's a DAMN good question.  Wanted to post it.  I gotta think about that for a while.  I'm leanin towards a french horn on the left and a weed whacker on the right.

 Nov/Dec 2002 ....Aks The New Guy 

1. dude, you like lollypops, right??? 

Anthony: NO I THINK LOLLYPOPS ARE FOR GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!

2. are you gonna act arrogant to Nerve fans? if so i'll be upset and kick you!

Anthony: NO NO NOT AT ALL. WHY SHOULD I BE ARROGANT TO MY NEW FANS AND FRIENDS? BUT SOMETIMES A GOOD SHOE TO THE NUTS CAN BRING OUT NEW AND WONDERFUL SENSATIONS IF DONE CORRECTLY.

3. If im asking the new guy, tell us a bit about yourself

Anthony: WELL LETS SEE..........
I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOR A LONG TIME AND I LOVE TO JUST RIP LOOSE ON THE DRUMS. I LIKE TACO BELL, MCDONALDS, BUT ALSO HEALTHY FOODS LIKE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. I LIKE TO COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE THROUGH MY DRUMS. YOU PROBABLY WILL SEE MY PERSONALITY REFLECT ON MY DRUMMING OR VICE VERSA!!!!!!!!!

4. hey new guy...could you play the old songs just as well as santo did...hope you do...

Anthony: YES, I DO BELIEVE I CAN PLAY THE SONGS AS WELL AS SANTO, EVEN BETTER. I WILL BE IMPROVING THE DRUM PARTS YOU HAVE HEARD BEFORE, AND I WILL ALSO BE CREATING NEW PARTS AND YOU WILL SEE AT OUR FIRST GIG AT CBGB'S THAT I WILL BE PLAYING ALL YOUR REQUESTS WITH INSANE ENERGY, AND FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

5. do YOU like tacos/burritos/nachos etc? if so how spicy,mild,etc

Anthony: I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
TACO BELL AND ANYTHING THAT IS REMOTELY CLOSE TO ITS TASTE.

I LIKE IT FIRE RED HOTTER THAN HELL, SUPER SPICY.

 October 2002.... Aks Randy 

1. penis?

Randy: Your one word question, "penis?", can be interpreted many ways. I'll interpret
it as "do you have one?". Yes I do. I have a penis.

2.  Do you like chesse and crackers?

Randy:  I do like chess. Although I haven't played in a very long time and I'm not very good at it. However, I did beat the computer once on the novice level. By the way, I'm pretty sure it's spelled "chess". As far as crackers, I like all kinds of people. There are lots of very nice white people and there are lots of not so very nice white people.

3. have you ever been impaled by something?if so what was it? 

Randy: Yes. This is not gonna be pretty. Last year at our very first show at The Temple, I was wearing a humungous bandage on the index finger of my left hand. This is an EXTREMELY important finger for guitar playing (and if I may take liberties and pat myself on the back for a moment, I think I did a pretty good job of playing without it). What happened was that a few days before the show I had SLAMMED my finger in the door of my apartment, a very huge, heavy door. It slammed right on the nail. YOW!!!! It was so bad that the throbbing wouldn't let me sleep. Here comes the impaling part -- The finger was swelling up at a very rapid rate, and it felt like the tip was gonna burst and the nail, and blood, and gook, and pus would come shooting out. The pressure was mind-boggling. I went to a doctor and she impaled me with two injections directly in the swollen part of the finger to numb it. She then sliced it with a scalpel in hopes that it would all come oozing out. It didn't. It just bled a little. Then she took out this HUGE needle that she used to impale me right through the base of my blackened fingernail. Then all the gunk came oozing out. Fortunately I didn't feel any pain because of the numbness. But I did feel a weird sort of pressure. 2 weeks later the nail fell off. Oh, and one more thing -- I impale myself with guitar strings all the time. Comes with the territory.

4. Are u a goofus? if so why?

Randy: Yes. Because I still act like I'm 10 years old sometimes, I find doody and fart humour amusing, I still love Spider-man (and other super-heroes), I have a Pikachu fixation, and I feel more comfortable hanging out with my 8 and 5 year old niece and nephew than I do with the adults in the family.

5. Do u like chewbacca? If so, elaborate?

Randy: Yes, I love Chewbacca. Cuz he's one of the good guys, he's loyal, and he's a big, cute furry creature but he can tear you into little pieces if he chooses to do so. And yet he only fights if he has to. He doesn't start fights. Chewie is a-ok in my book.

6.  why are republicans such assholes?.........i was listening to the radio today and i heard that our republican mayor is raising the price of public transportation to $2(greedy animals!).  What do u have to say about republicans????

Randy: For mr. multi-billionaire mayor and his buddies, what's 2 bucks? What's the big deal? They don't have to ride the trains and buses everyday. What about your average working Joe (or Randy). That 2 bucks over time adds up. He's also working on banning smoking in bars. I don't smoke, and I detest smoke, and it would be nice, simply for one's own personal health and well-being, if people would make a serious effort to quit smoking. But come on!!! In bars??? That's like the last place that people who do smoke can go. Bars are meant for smoking and drinking. That's what a bar is. A place you can go to smoke and drink. He also banned recycling except for paper. What's up with that??? If anything, paper disintegrates. So if you're going to march backwards and stop recycling stuff, at least do that with paper. Glass and plastic are gonna stay around forever. As far as republicans being assholes, that seems like a generalization. Although I think it might be safe to say that a lot of republicans seem to be very money/power oriented and not very human oriented. But lots of democrats are just the same. The problem, as I see it, is not necessarily with republicans or democrats. It's the entire system. The government has been completely corrupted by corporate money. Democrats are just as guilty of it as republicans. Human lives are secondary to money. We manage to find billions of dollars to build ONE war plane (and we've got thousands of them!!!). But when you ask why American schools are literally crumbling, the politicians say we don't have the budget for it. Need some working toilets for an inner city school or even some books? Sorry, we can't afford that. Need a multi billion dollar airplane whose sole function is to kill people? Yeah, we can do that. The system has been completely perverted. Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves. Our own president has been quoted as saying "a dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it". I kid you not. This is no joke folks. Wake up from your fast food, television, coca-cola, hilfiger, SUV, DVD, VCR, shopping mall, Britney induced coma before it's too late.

7. how did the band name form?

Randy:  My grandfather's name was Irving. I loved him a lot so I thought I'd pay homage to him by naming the band "Irv" which is what everyone called him. Joe thought it would be a lame name and he suggested "The Nerve!" because it rhymes with "Irv" but sounds cooler. Thus, I get to still honor gramps but have a cool name for our band.

8. Yo, do you guys ever play without your underwear?-steph

Randy: Yes.

 August 2002.... Aks Joe 

1.  Hey Joe, what is the meaning of life?

Joe: I would like very much to give you the answer to this question, but I have learned in my travels that the only true answer to this lies within the mind and spirit of each individual.  If you haven't arrived at your own answer by this point in time (which it seems you haven't) I suggest the following.  Wait until the next time you see a tiny fruitfly or other little insect on the shower wall of your bathroom.  Quickly remove your clothes, turn on the water, jump in, take a shower, and commune with the insect.  Talk with it, think with it, sing with it, but above all, preserve it's life as if it were your own.  Be careful not to get it hit with water, and be extra careful of shampoo suds as they may fly around.  You might want to even consider forgoing the shampooing during this particular shower as it becomes even more dangerous when you close your eyes to rinse.  When all is done, shut the water off, and talk one more time with the insect.  Tell him/her how lucky they've been to have had you spare their life.  Ask if there's anything they'd like to communicate, and then sit quietly for ten minutes or so.  The answer to your question will reveal itself.

2.  How can I get a date with Santo?

Joe: Every Friday night (completing the cycle on the full moon Friday) throw salt into an open fire repeating the words "It is not salt that I turn to fire, but the heart of Santo Liveo, may he have no peace of mind until he comes to me." (note: if your name is Bob it won't work)

3. Joe, what is your theory on theories?

Joe: A theory is a supposition or guess.  Theoretically speaking I shall therefore suppose that this question is not a true quest for knowledge nor an inquiry into the beliefs held by The Nerve - but rather an attempt to foil the wit of the one answering the questions.  Me.  You shall not succeed.

4. Do you like monkeys?

Joe:  Of course not.  You know what we do with them.

5. What do you do to the monkeys?

Joe: You'll have to come to a show or buy a CD to find out.

6. What was your worst performance?

Joe: Staten Island, The Caves.  They wanted us to play in a small room in the back that was flooded with water, and we refused.  We'd have had to literally stand in puddles - and I'm not a big fan of electrocution.  They agreed to let us play the big stage in the front, and we wound up being the opening band for that big Doors cover band (forgot the name).  Big crowd, we were pretty excited.  We got on stage and the crowd immediately started booing us, heckling us, and chanting for the Doors band.  This got us going even more and I think Randy popped a cork or something.  He sort of went insane and started jumping and falling into everything.  He was screaming, playing nonsense on his guitar.... I can't really explain what it was like, but it wasn't a good thing.  This got me going in the same direction and at one point I leaped and my head met with an iron beam that hung about 6 feel above the stage.  I went straight down on top of Randy and he got pissed cuz he thought I was trying to kill him or something (he didn't see me smash my noggin).  Everything got blurry for a while and I managed to point to my head which he noticed was bleeding.  We somehow got through the song.  I think we played one more and I was real queasy so we called it quits.  This made both us and the crowd very happy.  Saddest part of the experience was that the wet rooms in the back had a whole great punk thing going on.  None of those bands got electrocuted, and none of the people from back there ever set foot in the front of the club.  Had we gone with the original plan all would have most likely been great.

7. How do you look so good?  And how old are you?

Joe: Thank you. Noxema, Grape Nuts, spring water, exercise, vitamins, self help books, prayer, and staying forever 17 at heart.  I lost count of the actual years :) .

Summer 2003.... Aks Randy 

1. Aks: Hi, Randy.  Did you see the movie "Bowling for Columbine" by Michael Moore? Do you agree with his beliefs? Would YOU be able to stand up against the entire world to prove your point & not shy away even a little?

RANDY: Wow! Great question. Yes, I saw the movie. I loved it. It was powerful, deep, moving, gutsy, and even funny. This is a very important film. Every American should see it. Actually, every earthling should see this film. Yes, I do agree whole-heartedly with his beliefs. And yes, I'd stand up in front of the world and express my point of view. In my own little way I'm doing that with The Nerve! with the songs I sing. So far I haven't shied away.

2. Aks: What does Jesus mean to you?

RANDY: An example of the perfect man and something we can all strive to be.

3. Aks: Do you guys listen to The Nerve Agents, because they are really good but
they broke up! If not go buy the butterfly collection/

RANDY: No, I can't say I've ever heard their music, but I know about them. I also heard that they became the Nerve Agents because of us. They were called The Nerve too (but without the explanation point). And supposedly they heard about this band from Brooklyn called The Nerve! so they added the "agents" part to their name. At least that's what I was told.

4. Aks: How do I get a life?

RANDY: Take my new mail order course. Send me your introductory fee of $200 and start getting a life today. Make checks payable to Randy Nerve. Thank you.

5. Aks: If Train A leaves New Mexico at 4:30 AM on Tue and Train B leaves St Louis at 6:25 AM on Sat. what will the boiling point of nitrogen be on Jupiter in May (Earth Time and in kelvin)............Go ahead annswer that!

RANDY: Hmmmm...Tricky question there my friend. But unfair. Where in New Mexico is train A leaving from?

6. Aks: Who has the biggest penis in the band?

RANDY: Ask Joe. Ow!!! That goddamn zipper again!!!!

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